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mental health

The Mirror

I felt something as I walked away that evening. It was a painful reminder that I’d been here before, but this time I wasn’t the one who left feeling like the victim. No, it was me feeling like I had done the hurting, and I couldn’t help but wonder if that’s all the ways I had made another feel.
You see, this mirror thing is way more than the beauty gazes and secret dances we do staring back at ourselves. The mirror is indeed a peek into our inner selves, a reflection of some things we can’t stare too long at. Still, yet we’d turn left and poke another right at the spot where it could hurt, but the bigger question is, do we even know that it’ll hurt?, do we know that our actions and Inactions mirrored back at us could be the very reason the last person walked out of our lives?.

What do you see in the mirror? I’ll go first as always, but I’ll tell a shorter story. Once in my grown-ish age, I couldn’t understand why another human would need space away from their other half; it didn’t make sense to me. Why would they need time away? Is there a need to have more than one friend asides from me? Haven’t you thought how negative it would be to fall asleep while talking to me? Don’t you see emotional decisions aren’t all bad?  Why aren’t I the only reason you exist? It’s honestly funny now. Why wouldn’t you say everything without blinking? How does anxiety even affect the ways you react? Imagine that! Yes, it was me, needing, reaching, wanting, and stretching ways I needed to make a mark on another human. The desire to carve them, engrave my existence deep in their soul to possess every way they would ever think or act. In those times, it was perfectly okay. I wasn’t looking in the mirror too long.

Now fast forward, I’m holding a glass in one hand, with coffee I wouldn’t drink. I’m the one explaining that I want this space; I’m the one arguing how I want to stretch the almost same way I crucified another for desiring in their heart. So it dawned on me, as painful as it was to accept, I did realize that I couldn’t stand to take in my reflection too long in the mirror. It was more evident that the crazy ideas of my perception on how people must act were drenched in plenty of dysfunctional knowledge.

The mirror told the truth; even I couldn’t stand ‘I.’

I looked longer that day, searched all the corner reflections for the things I should see clearer. I was wrong. It wasn’t all that pretty, and I needed to unlearn and learn the truth.  In essence, there’s every need to understand that we’re all uniquely different. There’s no way to tell who’s real or not in this age, but we walk gently and trust slowly. We cannot judge another based on how we think ourselves to be wired. It’s rather unfair. Most of us don’t fully know what’s genuinely waiting to reveal itself if we stared longer at the mirror.
Life’s like that mostly; when mirrored, we indeed cannot bear our expectations of others.

“Do to others what you’d like to be done to you,” that’s the famous line, but do you fully understand what you could be doing to others? Do you even imagine how it must feel if you swallowed your pill? Do you know who you are?”

Your turn, take a longer look today; what do you see in the mirror? What needs to change?

TAGS:deep questionsmental healthprecious chiderathe mirrorthequeendera
18 Comments
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  • Tijesuni Daini
    May 27, 2021

    Wow, beautifully written. It is important to self reflect even Jesus encouraged before you remove a spec from someone else’s eyes you should remove the plank from yours. in other words, do a self reflection every now and then before you jump to access anybody else, recognize how your actions may affect the other person and ask yourself if the tables were turned i am going to be fine been treated the way i treated this person?? am i going to love the response i just gave this person? at the end of the day, let love lead. Thank you precious.

    Reply
    • p.chidera
      Tijesuni Daini
      May 27, 2021

      Thank you!🙌🏾 Self reflection is key!

      Reply
  • Rita Bran
    May 27, 2021

    Omg another interesting revelation of how we look into the mirror without knowing exactly how we are or think .how we treat people. I think we need to look longer into the mirror to discover ourselves. Thank you and welldone.

    Reply
    • p.chidera
      Rita Bran
      May 27, 2021

      Thank you! 😀❤️

      Reply
  • Uloaku Aniagu
    May 27, 2021

    Very true . The mirror is indeed a peek into our inner selves. We need to always keep an open mind. To learn more about ourselves and how we treat ourselves and others.

    Reply
    • p.chidera
      Uloaku Aniagu
      May 28, 2021

      We need to keep an open mind and learn who we are. Thank you! ❤️

      Reply
  • Shallystoned
    May 28, 2021

    So true…. We say we want to be treated right but we end up treating people the way we wouldn’t like to be treated and when it’s the other way round, we judge and call them “Heartless” not knowing that’s what we are too.
    We need to look inward to become more familiar with our inner self. Instead of judging, we should do more of Self Reflection. Thank you for always lightening up the things that seems so dark to me with your amazing pieces❤

    Reply
    • p.chidera
      Shallystoned
      May 28, 2021

      The general rule always applies. Treat others how you want to be treated 😊
      Thank you for always appreciating my words ❤️

      Reply
  • Hyrates
    May 28, 2021

    Sometimes I think the other guy on the other side of the mirror is my path finder, most of the time we argue in order to agree and disagree but my reflection always win so I pay attention to both side of me.

    Reply
    • p.chidera
      Hyrates
      May 28, 2021

      That’s a great one! Every type of self awareness is welcome as long as we reach an understanding on how to be better 😊

      Reply
  • Lonimi Laditan
    May 31, 2021

    Very true. I’m learning not to be ‘judgy’ because I can be like that most times. Questioning other people’s actions and thinking if I was in their shoes I could’ve done it this way or that way. Then the day of reckoning comes and I find myself in those shoes and I understand why they acted they way they did or how they must have felt. We really don’t know how it hurts until we walk in someone else’s shoes.

    Reply
    • p.chidera
      Lonimi Laditan
      May 31, 2021

      We really have no idea how we’d act if the tables turn. These days I’m slower to react and sometimes I just breathe and try to imagine myself in that exact same shoe and honestly think of the ways I would handle the situation. We just keep learning everyday. We keep looking in the mirror and making necessary changes.

      Reply
  • Ezemba chioma
    May 31, 2021

    Hmm even I, couldn’t stand ‘i’. the mirrow told the truth.
    These lines really got me. Often times,we cry wolf about the way people treat us,forgetting that what goes around always always comes around. If only we could look closely then we will find the true reflection of who we will really are,just because the mirrow will always tell the truth.

    Reply
  • p.chidera
    May 31, 2021

    ‘the mirror will always tell the truth’
    Thank you! ❤️

    Reply
  • Daniel
    June 3, 2021

    People fear looking at the mirror too long because they associate the mirror with feelings of self-inadequacy, but the reality is that when you learn how to see yourself in your own reflection it becomes a powerful tool that aids in increasing self-compassion and compassion for others.

    You learn to be patient with yourself and with others as well.

    These are my post-reflection thoughts inspired by this post.
    Thank you Precious!

    Reply
    • p.chidera
      Daniel
      June 7, 2021

      Thank you Daniel! 😊

      Reply
  • Peter
    June 10, 2021

    I used to know someone who was afraid of mirrors…. Literally.
    What I’d give to delve into his mind and find what he was afraid would stare back at him should he dare look!…
    In hindsight, that was him being brutally honest with himself… “I’m so shitty I can’t bear to look” …
    Most of us though just stare back with great poker face and dare the mirror to say something…. 😂
    But the truth can always be found in the mirror…. Only if we act like we can see it…

    Reply
  • p.chidera
    June 10, 2021

    I’d like to delve into his mind too 😃 somedays I too get too much courage and dare the mirror 😂

    Reply

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