It’s precisely 1:11 am, and I’ve just seen five posts about women who have suffered abuse and battered beyond recognition by their partners. I’m livid, but that wouldn’t change a thing. It won’t bring back the three dead married women I read about or the teenagers who no longer have a mother because daddy thought he was god on earth and took a life. I’ve had conversations with close friends, and recently my mom has made it a point to be a self-awarded advocate against abuse, and I love to witness all of this.
There has been a shift in the world at large. People are becoming more conscious of the evil that has lurked around for far too long. Women are getting more involved and courageous to speak up against domestic violence and walk away from situations that have threatened their lives, and the world is adjusting. The “what would people say” trend is becoming irrelevant as people now choose themselves and their happiness first, which is all shades of awesome.
I can’t somehow help but wonder about the other type of violence that kills way faster, leaving no trace and no single evidence to prosecute the guilty or seek justice of any kind. I’m speaking about emotional abuse. Most people downplay the effects of emotional abuse; they assume that shutting your ears or turning a blind eye to gaslighting would save you the pain that the person with a swollen cheek can’t ignore. But you see, what’s more dangerous is the pain and wound that you cannot see. It’s like the case of internal bleeding; the doctors would agree on the dangers of these injuries that aren’t visible to the eyes.
There’s another pandemic loading, and it’s so frightening when I think of it. Emotional abuse eats its victim from the inside out till there’s nothing left than a walking human who’s running on zero, but what’s worse is that there isn’t any way to explain it or seek treatment or rescue as there’s simply no evidence of the damage done. That is the fact that many narcissistic personality disorders are brewing and inflicting the most severe mental crises on their victims.
We can’t break down the topic of Narcissism into six paragraphs; oh no, there is a need for an entire journey to educate on this. I’m just going to say this hoping that it’s understood to mean well. It’s not okay if your partner condescendingly speaks to you. It’s not okay to be on the receiving ends of jokes at your own expense. It’s not okay to be yelled out and verbally abused. It’s not okay to be gaslighted, called ugly, body-shamed, or be dragged unwillingly to a continuous circle of mind games. It’s emotional abuse if your partner consistently puts you down, belittles, and disregards your boundaries. Heck, run if you’re often reminded that you’re not good enough or incapable of thinking or reasoning just fine on your own. Contrary to what you’re calculating, this is more than enough reason to leave.
Don’t imagine that the absence of cracked lips and a broken skull by your significant other is proof that your case is better. There are tons of people depressed, committing suicides, pathetically second-guessing who they are, isolated, brainwashed, and mentally damaged as the few results of an emotionally abusive relationship or workplace. The bottom line is that no one should tolerate any category of abuse; the end consequence of thinking you can endure is most often the victim’s death, and life would still go on for everyone else.
Forgive yourself for your mistakes, and decide on a better start where you’re valued and cherished cause you’ll do the same for others. Love is beautiful, and even you deserve it.