Dealing With Disappointment
Dealing With Disappointment.
We have all felt that crushing blow to our midsection that knocked the wind out of us. The moment when you get momentarily paralyzed by shock, and you feel the world crumbling before your eyes. You’re too confused and shocked to remember any of the “winners never quit, and quitters never win” nonsense that you have piled up in your brain. It’s tiring. Not fair! You cry in despair.
Disappointment. Such a dreadful word. I’ve had my fair share. But wait, how is it “fair share???” English is so twisted sometimes. Disappointments hit particularly hard when expectations are high, and you fancy your chances. You’ve done your homework. You obeyed all the rules. Applied all the “21 steps to…” Nothing can stop you this time. You can feel it in your bones. But then there’s disappointment in a corner, maniacally laughing while sharpening his needle to come to pop your gigantic bubble. He gets creative sometimes and decides to yank the carpet from under your feet, usually from behind. One minute you’re soaring; the next minute, your ass is on the floor. Ouch!
I hope you didn’t open this post hoping to learn some magi-level wisdom on how to dust off disappointments like they’re nothing and keep it moving. Nah, nothing like that from my end. See, I’m just like you trying to figure it out. While in high school, I learned a valuable lesson that the easiest way to learn something is to teach someone else what you already know. Sure, you now understand why I’m writing this. One thing I have learned about disappointment is that it usually hits hardest the first day. Then time runs its natural course, and you feel better with each passing day. That said, there are levels of disappointment. People process things differently. Some disappointments take longer to recover from. I intentionally didn’t want to list examples of disappointments. It’s an endless list. However, regardless of the case, there are better ways to handle disappointments.
First, allow yourself to grieve. Acknowledge the pain, Lament, Break things. Cry. Do whatever, but express your pain. Do not lock it in.
Secondly, spend time with people that radiate positive energy. There’s usually a fresh dose of happiness that follows an evening spent with someone or people that just had you chatting and laughing and doing silly things. When you find yourself alone again, you usually can’t quite remember where you stopped in your pity party, so you declare the show over and change out of your sackcloth, ready to dive in again.
Also, it’s essential to analyze the situation when the empty feeling in your stomach is no longer there. Try to understand what happened. Tell yourself the bitter truth. If your skills were not all that great or you had been low-key lazy the whole time, own it and admit to yourself. If you had done nothing but nag or disrespect your significant other, admit it. If you had repeatedly taken your partner for granted while they adored you, face it. At this point, you can already see what you need to be doing. Improve on your skills, work harder, be more sympathetic, quit being a shitty person. Generally, do better, then try again.
Now know this, you can do all these, and your next launch into the deep may still end in premium tears. Shed your tears, have your withdrawal period (if that’s your style), then come right back. The more times you get disappointed, the more the universe runs out of ways to screw you over. Eventually, your victory will come, and how delicious it will taste!
So, if you’re feeling like, “mehn, if it doesn’t work out this time, I’m done!”. Now tell me, when you stop trying, what would you be doing? Yea, a cliché has its purpose sometimes, ” winners never quit and quitters never win.” Sue me!
Dealing With Disappointment.
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