The Heartbreak Phase
The heartbreak phase. The weather is in minus, so I think it’s a good time to let out steam, and what better way than dropping this hot tea today. Take off your socks; this confession is a banger!
Here it goes. It must have been around the time I was going through a tough one, I can almost feel someone at the back saying, but you’re always going through one. Whatever, it was just one of the times I was feeling it. Those periods when you struggle to crawl out of bed, can’t sleep, can’t stay motivated cause you’re just wondering why the person you pictured with matching pajamas just left you high and dry. Welp, things happen, I guess.
During these periods, I blocked out a lot of posts and stories, especially the ones with happy couples showcasing their loved ones. I always felt the sting, like why are you so happy? Why are you so lucky? Why can’t I have what you have? Honestly, it hurt those times.
Any post about love and relationship was painful, literally. I blocked, unblocked, and reblocked the ones who dared to slap it in my face consistently. Why would you wield that audacity? Why would you be so ignorant of my present situation? I mean, why would you be so insensitive? So insensitive on a matter I never discussed with you. Phew, heartbreak temper.
I had to recognize that the way I was feeling wasn’t exactly because I was not too fond of the happiness that love like that brought but instead, it was happening from my point of grief, and I knew that the pain was making me bitter.
You’d like to know what I did, wouldn’t you? Well, I recognized that this was a phase; it’s always a phase, so I let myself go through it with the understanding that I’ll be putting in my best and giving my heart space to heal, and indeed this phase was always going to come to an end.
I didn’t rush to push my heart to get used to the love stories and the ‘God when’ provoking moments. Nah, now and then, I’d take a peep to see how my emotions reacted, and indeed after a while, the spin in my throat started to tangle less when I would see these love showcases, and that’s how I knew I was coming out of this one more time.
I’d need to say that my friends didn’t know I cared beyond less what Tola and her new boyfriend were doing; no offense to Tola, your relationship would always be sweet. They’d never know because, in reality, I didn’t hate these people or love them less this phase, I just felt a pain and a constant reminder of the one part I thought I had failed.
Please know that heartbreak does happen, the hurt phase happens, but healing comes afterward. Slowly and surely. So take time off, get off all reminders if you can, mute, unfollow, block, do whatever helps you with peace and mental growth. No action is childish or mature in these phases.
I’m no counselor; please feel free to adjust and redefine how you handle these phases. The goal is to heal and grow from this. I hope you succeed faster than I did
cause the boys who broke my heart have won trophies for their skills. I hope yours isn’t in the ‘breaking heart Ivy league.’ We’d address this group later. For now, I’m still sipping the coffee I don’t like and wondering how people get out of writer’s block. One sip at a time, they say, but we’ll see.