My Life’s Perfect?!
It’s my birthday today; I’m smiling brightest for all the reasons I’m grateful and so my life’s perfect?!
So I wear red lipsticks, and the weather makes my skin pale, and my good friend suggests I need vitamin D3. I wear my skirt a little below my knee, and I’m in love with turtle necks on some days, and I’ve grown a habit of obsessing over my newest piercing. I did write some careless words that made good numbers on the book charts, walking like I count my steps, and I smile like I’ve never known how to break but is that it? My life’s perfect?!
I see snow, the type I watched my movie star crush Denzel Washington throw in the air in a movie I can’t remember. I’ve moved to green pastures, yea, looking outside my window with the most admirable view but is that it? Is my life perfect?
You finally get the job you’ve wanted, get the perfect relationship you’ve wanted for too long. Wearing white too often because your washing machine is no longer breaking on you, and yea, you’re sleeping in that Calvin Klein perfect nightwear but is that it? Is your life perfect now? I wouldn’t want the answer. I don’t know about mine either.
I can tell you for free that I’m writing this as I think about some chicken wings I want that’s not too good for my fitness plan. IĀ just spent minutes that seemed like forever upset that someone drifted away, and I missed the rest that left; plus, I do not know anything after what I would have for dinner after the birthday food and cake. My life’s not perfect. Yours isn’t. We’re not perfect; the strong ones are those who master composure. The ones that keep smiling in the face of rejection and say, “I know I’m going to get it.”
Perfect, isn’t it. I wouldn’t get it. You wouldn’t get it.
So if tonight you cry over something, do it with pride; you’re human enough, and if some things hurt longer, allow yourself to feel it. We’re all broken one way or another. We’re all in need of saving or love or some deep yearning we can’t even whisper alone in the dark, some pain we don’t talk about.
After worrying over these things, pray, smile, cry, sleep and when you wake up, force a smile in the mirror and say it loud enough, “I’m going to be okay,” now, walk like you own it!
PS: I did spend a lot of time reading about what people would think about many things, and in the end, my stance remains the same. Whatever you do, be happy, be unapologetically happy. That’s the only thing you can control. Everyone would adjust but in the meantime, be happy.
Peter
Happy birthday btw, and no, my life’s not perfect; not even close. Some days I feel unstoppable, other days I’m clueless, but I keep sticking my foot in when they try to lock the door. And about being happy, I hear it’s a choice but I honestly dunno what that means. I can’t seem to be able to say “now I wanna be happy” unless something happens that does make me happy.
Maybe you could teach me how to choose to be happy regardless of how shitty things get sometimes……
p.chidera
PeterI’ll tell you how it works for me by giving an example of what ‘Happiness is a choice’ can mean. A few days ago, I argued with someone; it was too obvious they just wanted to frustrate me regardless. I had a choice; I could have stayed unhappy about the turn of events, but I just told myself that I’d worry about what I can control, which is how I feel, so I worked consciously to not dwell on the negativity and be happy.
The truth is, I realize that I can’t always wait for something to happen to make one happy; in my understanding, that’s ‘Joy’ instead. that feeling when something happens, and you’re in high spirit, that’s Joy.
Let’s see happiness as a secure base, a default where we stay just happy regardless. Joy would come when the expectations we have are met. š
I hope I’ve been able to explain it and not confuse you with these points š
Adekoya kehinde
Okay from my little understanding of happiness and joy, like you’ve rightly mentioned “Happiness is a choice”, this is because its has to wait for an event, situation or circumstance whereas joy is an experience that is independent of a circumstance.
Yes, joy would come when the expectations we have are met, of course, this is because no matter what it is we are looking for in reality we are looking forward to joy or more joy.
However, trueness of joy isn’t in the end game but in the state of mind independent of any circumstances, good or bad. Joy is to make a choice to be happy regardless of your situation and to live by it.
And about “perfect”, a wise man once said “you don’t need to be perfect, you just need to believe” and I choose to believeš
p.chidera
Adekoya kehinde‘Joy is to make a choice to be happy regardless of your situation and to live by it.’ – I like how you wrote this.
You’re right; no one has to be perfect, we have to believe, and the belief is on positive and good things about ourselves, our lives, and in most cases, the circumstances or situations we find ourselves.
Shallystoned
No, my life is not perfect, infact, it is far from being perfect. I’m still learning to accept that it’s not everything I want that is good for me.
I use to think everyone who has a man that spoils them with flowers ,date nights and gifts have the best relationships until I saw some that had that but weren’t very happy because their men beats them up whenever he’s mad at them and uses gifts and flowers to make them happy again and be able to forgive them. Every perfect picture has it’s own flaws .
My life is not perfect, just like my relationship isn’t but I’m happy and grateful for what I have.
I can say I’m happier because I just started loving myself more and putting my happiness first, it’s been one thing I’ve been struggling with but now I am proud of who I am and what I’m coming.