Breakfast Was Served HOT!
Don’t be deceived for one second. Breakfast in this context is a well-cooked heartbreak episode, usually served without your consent. It’s a poorly cooked hot food mix that leaves you choking, and I tell you, not even the water from Finland could make a difference. Ladies and gentlemen, this is how my last breakfast was served hot, sizzling hot with a red plate and cold water, haha. I’ve known bad chefs.
For the sake of this, we’ll go by different characters. Read to the end to see the disclaimers. Oh Yes! We’re not getting sued while we’re choking! Let me take you through all the ingredients used for this particular food tray. Read along, slowly.
Tayo was a good guy, a fun-loving- somewhat introvert that had pink lips and a round tummy that wasn’t an issue. He was cheerful, fun to be with, and had a good sense of humor. Typical relationship arguments included whether Burna Boy was better than Davido. Don’t even ask; I choose Davido. Another misunderstanding was about familiar friends who, in my opinion, had zero boundaries and not showing me off enough. Still, I thought we were doing OK, so we were a good pair. Tayo wasn’t the John legend to my Chrissy or the Asap to my Riri, but we managed. Too many gifts covered up for the lack of ‘good morning beautiful, and you’re the cockroach in my cupboard sweet nothings.’
Our relationship wasn’t many brightly colored butterflies in my tummy or my feet melt when I look at you, but my heart skipped now and then, and it was a deep friendship and straight understanding of where we were going. I dare say that our plans did align, so I thought it couldn’t go south. how did it go south? We had a reasonable conflict resolution in my head, so I thought. Maybe it’s because I mainly spoke, and he was an excellent listener. I would often describe Tayo as a man of very few words, so every time he ever said something basic like ‘i miss you o’ it’ll seem like I got 2 million rose petals poured on my head. Just imagine that feeling, but that was OK for me.
If I’m saying all the sweet things about Tayo, then how in the world and when did he start thinking to cook me a particular breakfast. Well, maybe I would never do. All I can tell you is about the last seven days of our relationship. See, we had significant disagreements that came on and off about how he had handled the many fishes floating around him. My Tayo did pretty well in the face with that fresh prince vibes and natural pink lips. Now don’t attack Tayo yet; I never had evidence that he cheated in any capacity. I did find out once that the evidence I could have gotten had been erased. Oh, I cried that night because all I was left with were my Imaginations and boy, they ran wild.
Days to the breakfast, we had this wonderful conversation about how excesses needed to be curbed and how we could make it better. It was a wonderful one, and once again, I thought we were back on track. We had never been in such harmony and agreement before. We talked about therapy and growing more in a healthy relationship. Christmas was some days away, and we were making plans to exchange gifts. Tayo was great at gifting, and I’ve always been a genius at giving.
We had a special dinner five days to this cookout, lovely ambiance; I felt loved and more convinced that this was it. Just join me and laugh in Spanish cause my head was in the sand. I planned this trip to this luxury store to get a perfect gift for my Tayo. He was doing the same. Everything was going fine. I had ordered matching custom merch for His and Hers that we would wear on our next planned trip.
Wife material skills kicked in and I was going to make a nice holiday dish for Tayo. He loved peppered snails and some grilled spiced chicken and I was going to be that girl. Shopped for food, shopped for gifts. Damn, Tayo was going to know how much I loved him cause he got me doing things I wouldn’t have thought of. I cooked, Chef Su style and Ramsey Gordon had nothing on me, wrapped my gifts, and presented these 9 world wonders to Tayo and he seemed so pleased. If I wasn’t too bent on the illusions of the happy ending in my head, I should have noticed how he was a little distant but nah, my heart felt what it wanted to feel. Tayo and I would be on vacation soon on a Yacht in the Maldives taking pictures of my view and his view and life were good. It really was.
Fast forward to what would turn out to be the last day of that relationship. Tayo had gotten me the most expensive gift, some many carat jewelries in my favorite color, wrapped so perfectly that you had to give the man an A for effort. I was blown away, I couldn’t contain myself, I was over the moon, and I couldn’t thank him enough. I just wanted to get home and show everyone that cared what awesomeness I had just witnessed. I couldn’t have known it was the last time I’d see Tayo.
I got home and called Tayo to thank him again and wish him a merry Christmas, as we would be in different cities. Dear kind folks, that was the last time I would talk to Tayo in good spirits. He was calm, gentle, and seemed happy. What happened afterward may or may not shock you, but I lost my mind. I did call Tayo the next day and days after that, but it was always voicemail, and on one occasion, he mentioned dealing with a lot and needing space to think.
Christmas came, and the new year was barely 48 hours away. Tayo said he was still thinking through some crises and needed more time, so I waited, impatiently, I did, and just when I was talking myself into being optimistic, its midnight and new year’s eve, and that’s when Tayo called to say ‘I can’t do this anymore. Wait! What! How! I mean, how could I have been eating this hot breakfast for more than a week and not know I was full already. How could my friends be wearing matching pajamas and sharing resolutions for the new year, and now I was left gulping the last drop of this stupid tea without a name. Tayo did it! He was a good chef! Now I had eaten breakfast, had a gift as a take-out, and I didn’t have to ask about the bill. It was all taken care of.
I spent the first days in the new year confused, but you know what they say; time heals, and everybody will be OK. That particular breakfast has since been digested, and I’ve moved on to strawberries and organic chocolate that’s healthy for me, and I can’t hate Tayo. Last I heard, he’s still in the kitchen, serving and receiving hot spicy breakfasts, but he’s happy, and that’s good news. Let’s all say a Prayer for Tayo; he’s a good chef. haha
Listen, no one is above this breakfast. You may or not know when you’ll be served breakfast, but some have been served without receipts. In case you also didn’t know, this breakfast doesn’t digest quickly, but we stay strong and keep it together, and thank God that we will not come across a Tayo again.
Have you been served hot breakfast in the past? Do you want to share it? We might start a breakfast series. We might! Please send me an anonymous email or message me directly or let me know in the comment section.
If your name is Tayo, I'm not referring to you!