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Banff Canada, Precious Chidera, Love
mental health

Love

“Is it love if the blue butterflies in my tummy aren’t merry in the first season of our love story?”

Sit down for this one, look closely at each line as I wrote this one for you, especially for you. You know how you say I love you on the 2nd day of the relationship’s honeymoon phase, how we tell the sweet nothings when the butterflies blossom in our tummy. You know that time you can’t breathe cause you think you’re in love. Yea, that time your teeth shine perfect at the mention of their names. That time, that time isn’t the love.

Those days when you see perfect and think it’s all it’ll ever be, oh no, that’s not the love, please. You know, I take way too long to declare my love for someone. It takes a while longer. I understand love as a very conscious effort that won’t form entirely after two weeks; oh no, it takes time. It doesn’t happen after you’ve seen each other four times in 2 months. No, it forms after you’ve known them, and I don’t mean marking the 73 birthmarks I’ve found on my skin. In truth, love knows the other person for who they are, not who you want or expect them to be; it’s being aware of their flaws and accepting them just as is.

“Love is an acceptance of all the ways the human in front of you is imperfect, incapable of a lot, flesh and mostly sand and you still want to be with them. The days they can’t be too expressive, The ways they’re still learning how to act and you’ve become aware of their efforts and you still accept them.
When you’ve eliminated the desire to change them for whatever reason – That’s where the feelings stem.”

I’ve made mistakes, said those words when I didn’t mean them, worse when I didn’t even feel them for myself. You know how they say you can’t give what you don’t have; that’s how it is. The first rule, be kind to yourself, accept your shortcomings. Accept the minuses. Be able to answer who you are, know it, be aware of it, and treat the person in front of you with that same kind of understanding.

Someone said a lot of us are incapable of love; it’s true. We hurt and tear down others with the mind games of who breaks first. Zero intent to be vulnerable. That’s scary. Take your time, see things through the seasons, gain understanding, decide before you make that declaration.

Love yourself so you can love another.

Love.

Your turn, how do you tell the love is true?

TAGS:deep questionslovemental healthprecious chiderawhat is love
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  • Adekoya kehinde
    July 9, 2021

    In addition to all you’ve mentioned, I find love true when it’s not stressful. Sincerely, love does not stress.
    Yes, there are lots of sacrifices and efforts to make but if it’s TRUE love, it doesn’t stress you to make.

    Reply
    • p.chidera
      Adekoya kehinde
      July 9, 2021

      You know, sometimes, misunderstanding brings stress, and that doesn’t mean that love is absent. Disagreement brings stress and again doesn’t mean that love is lacking. I have had messy arguments that caused some tension, maybe emotional stress, and I love these people.

      In my opinion, I would say ‘TRUE love’ isn’t the absence of stress or problems. It’s a more outstanding commitment to working things through regardless of the situation and knowing that your enemy isn’t the other person at those moments but instead whatever issue you’re having. 🙂

      This incredible knowledge that you and someone remain committed to bringing peace to each other and are selfless is all the relief, and in turn, we can now say True love isn’t stressful. 😉

      Thank you, Kehinde ♥

      Reply
  • Peter
    July 10, 2021

    Love is …. Elusive…. Beautiful though, if found…. Love is eternal, it does not expire….
    I can’t say I’ve experienced true romantic love, but I’ve had something close…. There was chemistry, there was respect.. there were good times…
    But those things ultimately weren’t enough. So for me, love is mostly ….elusive…
    I hope I get to say some day that I know and have true love. Till then, I’ll make the best of my ‘almost’ love…

    Reply
    • p.chidera
      Peter
      July 10, 2021

      Elusive: difficult to find, catch or achieve

      I’m not sure all my secrets are safe on the world wide web 😄 , but I agree on one thing, love does not expire.

      These days, people settle for chemistry, respect and good times, but some old souls know that there could be more.

      I’d join you in your hope that someday you have that true love; I wouldn’t wish an ‘almost love’ experience to pitch a tent longer in your romantic history 😉

      Reply
  • No Response Is A Response - Precious Chidera
    July 29, 2021

    […] the thing, love is beautiful. It’s every bit of perfect when you can give it and receive it, but there’s […]

    Reply
  • Uloaku Aniagu
    August 19, 2021

    Love is so confusing…… a lot of people mistakes actual love for the idea of being in love with the person. Some are just selfish because they know just how much of a good person they have and they try to hold on to that person, faking love and deceiving themselves. Love will take you 360 in so many directions, it will ride you like a roller coaster with no stop point. It will also teach you so many lessons about yourself and the world if you pay attention to it. To love the right person is to love God. And trust that even through trials and tribulations, your love will triumph through it all.

    Reply
    • p.chidera
      Uloaku Aniagu
      August 23, 2021

      I like to believe that love isn’t confusing. Instead, it’s the selfish desires and games that some play that gives that notion.
      Love, accurate in its form, is beautiful and perfect.
      To love God is to understand how you can love another human.
      You’re correct; love will triumph through it all. 😊🤗

      Reply
  • Shallystoned
    August 19, 2021

    Love…… I’ve said those words even when I didn’t mean it, I’ve said it to make someone feel special just because I didn’t want to hurt them. I’ve said it when i taught I was really in love with the person but I just loved their presence and not who they are.
    Now I get why some people fall out of love, they never really loved the person. They just fell in love with the idea of being in love with the person….

    Reply
    • p.chidera
      Shallystoned
      August 23, 2021

      For one, I don’t think people can fall out of love if they were ever indeed in love.
      Feelings don’t completely disappear; we only maintain some sense of discipline based on lobe for ourselves or the ones in our lives and never act on the feeling.

      Thank you, Shally 🤗

      Reply
  • You're Not Ready - Precious Chidera
    August 19, 2021

    […] not ready. I remember when I thought I was the only one who understood how to love. How I’d preach that I knew first-hand what it meant to treat someone differently, and I could […]

    Reply
  • The dangers of assumptions in relationships - Precious Chidera
    March 16, 2023

    […] This might not be easy, but sometimes all it takes is giving that benefit of the doubt – Love is patient, after all. Remember, more people walk around with a heavy weight they can’t make […]

    Reply

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